Advocacy Help
Do you have a problem with addiction? Do you need to feel buzzed or high just to function and deal with life? Are you in an unhappy job or marriage and drinking just to ease the pain? Does your family feel neglected or rejected by your actions? How many times have you woken up not remembering what you did the day before after a night of partying too much? If you've honestly answered yes to any of these questions, you lost control and have an addiction. I was in denial myself and thought my drinking wasn't obvious and I could hide it. Apparently, I had a face everyone became accustomed to when they knew I was drunk. If they didn't know the face, I would eventually either fall, trip, slur my words or pass out. I had a designated babysitter (not by choice) who would have to keep an eye on me when we all went out (not fair). I began to lie to my friends and family when I forgot to do something important. I would sometimes call out of work for being so hungover. I can't remember a day I wasn't drinking at a party or social event. I would also say things like I only drink on the weekends so I don't have a drinking problem or blame not eating enough for getting so smashed. I needed alcohol to cope with my lack of self-worth and insecurities. I thought alcohol made me courageous so I could fit in but I had lost complete control and alcohol began to control me. I was a train wreck. Alcohol led me to commit so many shameful acts and the more I drank the further down the rabbit hole I went. It damaged some of the relationships I had. People felt uncomfortable around me when I drank, even my son. I was consumed with so much anger, and resentment toward myself I was reckless and lived a life full of drama I created.
In the summer of 2016 I decided to move to Florida for a fresh start with my boyfriend at the time in spite of how strained our relationship had become from all my heavy drinking. I remember thinking ok I have a clean slate here, no one knows my past and I can reinvent myself. I did a pretty good job in the beginning until the triggers started. The truth is, the only thing that changed about me was my location. I was still suffering inside. I spent another 1-1/2 years repeating the same vicious cycle but now living in the Sunshine state. Finally, after years of this toxic and unhealthy behavior, my boyfriend mentally checked out of our relationship and I found myself feeling all alone. I know he would have left me but he stayed with me because he felt guilty that I had left my entire family behind in New Jersey to be with him (not fair). Normally I would run to my parents house but I had no one to run to this time. I had a hard realization come over me when I had to recognize that the only person that could help me was me. That was the beginning of my journey. When I look back on those days, I wonder how I managed to survive, when I was so reckless and careless with my life. Then I remember there was a divine force that watched over me who always intervened sparing my life on so many occasions, so that one day I could fulfill my life purpose in helping others heal from addiction.
In the late spring of 2018, I joined a support group and found a sponsor (advocate) to help me work on the steps to face the experiences I had that led to my suffering. These feelings of pain from my life experiences I held onto is what kept me chained to my addictions. I had created a story in my head that I wasn't worthy of anything good and I believed I was the mistakes of my past. I had no idea who I was underneath all the layers of pain I had experienced. I have to admit, his wasn't easy, in fact, it was gut-wrenching but so worth when I began to see I was healing. I would rather feel the hurt knowing it's temporary than spending my life living in hurt with the possibility I could relapse. I've been sober for over 4-1/2 years and discovered who I truly am. During my journey, COVID happened and the country was locked down. I couldn't attend my regular meetings and everything went virtual which didn't feel the same for me at the time. Then I lost my father to COVID in April of 2020. Although I didn't pick up a drink, I was so grief-stricken and traumatized by the experience, I began to feel shame and guilt for leaving my family behind. So I took this time to do more self-reflection and research before I started to feel lost again. I began to study some healing techniques and modalities that continued to heal me until I felt happy and strong, which I never felt before in my entire life. This changed my life as I knew it and I know I can help get you started on your healing journey.
Imagine how life would be if you weren't struggling with an addiction. What would you do? Where would you go? Who would you become? Don't be afraid to want to create a better life for yourself. You deserve happiness. It is the beliefs in yourself that stops you from becoming who you are meant to be. It is the belief in yourself that keeps you chained to your addiction like I was. It is never too late to become the best version of yourself. I found that even in recovery, we can still feel like something is missing from our life, especially when we live in a society where conditioning is the way of our existence. Unfortunately, this can create certain expectations on how a person should be and if we feel we fail short, we can develop more emotional problems. The amazing thing is now we have the opportunity to change this if we choose. We have the opportunity to change our ending to our beginning. So what will you decide? It only takes one simple step forward to begin to change your life. I know you because I was you. Please schedule an appointment to join the Advocacy Program today! Say yes to healing. You deserve it! Use coupon code SURVIVOR2023 for a free complimentary session, so it will cost you nothing to see how powerful this healing session can be.
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