Accepting The Truth

I've been through so many things in my life. I have to admit giving up alcohol was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. I spent most of my adult life denying I had an addiction to alcohol (among other things). I recall how much it would excite me knowing I could have a drink the moment I got home from work. If I knew I was out of wine, I'd be sure to stop off at the liquor store to pick up a bottle or two. Face it, if we ever felt excited to drink, use drugs, have a sexual encounter, raid the fridge, or turn to any other unhealthy habit, then we might have a similar problem. Addiction skews our judgment and messes with our priorities. Instead of thinking about my next meal, I thought about my next drink. I remember being on the weight watchers plan and if I didn't use my banked points (35 pts) which didn't include the daily points, they can be carried over so that I could indulge by going out to dinner, or a social event. I would be sure to save my banked points solely on drinking. I didn't see a problem with this at all, even though I was mocked family.

We have to be honest with ourselves and learn to become our own observers. If no one has expressed their concern about our unhealthy habits, we might need to check in. Sometimes we run on autopilot, we miss the big picture. People who are struggling with an addiction tend to cater their lives around their addictions. Do you? Have you ever found yourself neglecting something important to accommodate the addiction? I started to get stomach aches, as well as becoming pre-diabetic with so much abuse. My addicted mind also rationalized drinking was legal so I shouldn't be judged (really?). I remember if my glass was half-way empty I would refill it immediately. I had no sense to count how much I was consuming. I tried to count one day after a rough night of partying just to satisfy my boyfriend at the time so he wouldn't worry about me but it didn't last. I always found an excuse to justify drinking, I was hooked. I grew up with insecurities and I suffered. What I failed to realize at the time was I was only escaping. I'm sure my story sounds familiar to others stories of people who have struggled. It is hard and painful to see the truth when we are still operating from feelings accumulated by the many hurts feelings of the past.

When we can't look within ourselves to answers and look for something outside ourselves to ease that pain, we need help. If we keep telling ourselves tomorrow is a new day and I will stop to only continue to repeat the same habits, we lost control. If we get angry, defensive, or bothered by comments expressed about our habits from our family and friends, please just take a moment and look to see if there is any credence to what is being said. If people have suddenly walked away from us, we have to ask why. Stereotypes once made people believe the only persons who suffered from addiction came from broken homes or lived in poor high crime environments. The reality is addiction affects anyone who has not learned healthy tools to work through their pain so they don't feel the need to try to escape from the reality of their hurts. It is time to be brave and honest with yourself to ask scary questions like "do I have a problem". Please avoid asking others for their opinions on the subject when you don't know if they are capable of being honest without being biased, especially if they too are struggling in life. The truth is inside all of us if we are willing to find the answers we seek. Are you ready?

"The first thing in the human personality to dissolve in addiction is dignity." - Anonymous

"Courage isn't having the strength to go on but going on when you don't have the strength." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"When you can't stop you want to, and when you want to stop yo can't." - Luke Davies

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Please email me at jackie@theaddictinme.com if you want to set up a free consultation to help you get started on your healing journey. Suffering is not supposed to be a part of life. We are here to learn, grow and evolve so we can live a happy, healthy, and productive life. We can do so much more than you could imagine. Let me show you how.