Scattered Mind

If we grow up hurt and use unhealthy coping methods to deal with the pain, in time, we can develop other unhealthy personality traits as we keep turning to unhealthy habits because we can't deal with the stress of life. We might accuse people of things based on irrational thoughts and behaviors since we have difficulty trusting anyone. We often put up walls so no one can see the damage. Unfortunately, these walls will come crashing down when we lose control, revealing how fragile we have become. We also tend to observe others' behaviors instead of looking inside ourselves for the truth. However, this isn't too much of a problem if we aren't afraid to feel our emotions listen to our intuition when it sends us a warning. What is intuition? Intuition is a feeling transmitted by the brain to the sensory nerves in our stomach that tells us something doesn't feel right or is off, built inside all beings. So if we don't have a healthy grip on our thoughts or emotions, we can't feel the warning but rather listen to the thoughts created by the irrational mind. Do you know anyone like this? I do, and I didn't realize how bad this person had become and saw my past self.

We often project our unresolved feelings onto others when it is easier than looking into our own backyard. I know several individuals, especially one who spends his time searching for women online who promises them the world at the beginning of the relationship until he realizes they aren't what he expected. He lives under the illusion that someone else can make him happy. This person is self-absorbed, selfish, needy, wreckless, and doesn't take any responsibility for his actions or behavior. He is a serial dater looking for an imaginary woman who doesn't exist. He makes a decent living, wines, and dines these women until he gets what he wants and cuts them loose with lies and deception. He was a needy child who had never dealt with his issues his entire life. He has two children and was divorced for several years, but that never stopped him from prowling around while he was still married. I feel sorry for all these women who fall for his deceptions. You can't talk to him about this when he doesn't even acknowledge he is doing anything wrong. He is still stuck in the past and is living a lie. He is all about material things and treats others like they are beneath him. He can be classified as a womanizer, but it goes deeper. I hope he wakes up and changes.

He was a significant trigger for me when my friend would share stories about him with me. It made me so angry, and I wanted to tell him off. I started reflecting on why I was being triggered by this person I'd known for years and knew he could be needy but never paid attention to him until I started working on myself and discovered that I had exhibited the same destructive behaviors in my twenties. I would date men, so I wasn't alone since I thought I needed a man to make me happy. I would lie and end the relationship when things got too serious. I didn't know what I wanted because I didn't know who I was. Healing takes time, and we have so many layers of trauma, shame, or guilt that can often be triggered by those who project our behaviors back at us we never resolved. I know I'm not the same person I used to be, so I had to forgive myself for these mistakes to move on. We all have the opportunity to change and grow if that is a genuine desire. We shouldn't settle when we can be so much more. So many people become used to the dysfunction in their lives when they allow the fear of the unknown to hold them back.

The reality is we can't expect things to change on their own, and living in this mindset will keep us running on that hamster wheel until we lose our balance and fall. Why wait until that happens, you have an opportunity to do something to change your life. Let me help.

"She goes from one addiction to another. All are ways for her to not feel her feelings." - Ellen Burnstyn

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." - Unknown

---

Please email me at jackie@theaddictinme.com if you have any questions or want to set up a free discovery session to help you get started on your healing journey. Suffering is not supposed to be a part of life. We are here to learn, grow and evolve so we can live a happy, healthy, and productive life. We can do so much more than we could possibly imagine. Let me get you started.