Remembering Omar

My brother Omar died on January 25, 2008. He left behind parents, three brothers, three sisters, a wife, and a son. He was the youngest of the four boys in my family. My mother would share how long she struggled giving birth to each of us. However, my brother Omar was the most painful pregnancy my mother experienced she said. I don't know if this was a sign of things to come, but he certainly did leave his mark. He was a sensitive and charismatic kid who always made people laugh. He was a natural. He used humor to hide the pain he was feeling, which only grew as he got older. He was picked on in school, and his life became more difficult as the years progressed. I don't know when his alcohol addiction began, but it would lead to his untimely death. He was two years younger than I was, and we were close as children. Things changed when I became a teenager, and all I wanted to do was be out of the house. I harbored a lot of guilt over the years following his passing since I felt I abandoned him somehow. I never liked to think about it, since the guilt was consuming. It took me a long time to accept he was on his own journey. He taught me a profound lesson that I will never forget. We have all choices, and those choices will decide our fate. Our fate is decided by the choices we make based on how we are feeling about ourselves at the time. If we work from a place of hurt, we can seal our own fate if we don't change. If we learn to work from a place of love, we will have the courage to find our destiny.

We moved to this country in 1981, and being immigrants, we had to adapt to the culture here in the United States. We were forced to acclimate to this new environment however we could, but it was always hard growing up poor. Being a poor immigrant family led us to live in an unhealthy environment with heavy crime rates. We didn't really go outside to play as kids, unless it was in our own backyard, but even that wasn't really safe then. I remember Omar and I used to play outside in the backyard until dusk, chasing and catching fireflies. It is one of my favorite memories as children. We'd play pranks on our siblings if we could, and we found humor in the silliest things. We were like two peas in a pod, having our own secret language. As we got older, we each encountered unpleasant experiences which would change the direction of our lives. These experiences would play a huge role in how we dealt with life as adults. He would be 44 years old today. Since his passing, he has missed so much, but I know his spirit is all around us, especially around me. I don't think he knew I was struggling when he was alive but he certainly knew I was in death. It took me a decade to see I needed help.

In a way, my little brother Omar gave me the courage to stop hurting myself. I think he passed his loving energy to me, with the fond memories I have of him. Ever since I moved away from home, I would take his birthday and his anniversary off from work. I would just sit and talk to him and remember him. I could feel his spirit was with me. I would start to remember how much fun we had as children. I remember how bright his light use to shine but overtime, his light began to diminish from his struggles. Addiction was plaguing my family since we didn't know how to cope with our hurt. I'm grateful my father lived long enough to see me sober. Omar and I were so close as children, but now I feel we are close in spirit. I'm living my life for me and for him sober. Through hard work, I learned to heal like he never could. He is the inspiration for my recovery. It took his support from the other side to find the strength to take back my life, which didn't happen overnight. I had to struggle and learn some more. I will always be grateful for everything he has done for me. He is a beautiful loving soul. He has inspired me to help those who want help. Addiction is a powerful disease that attacks the mind and spirit. There are so many people who don't survive this disease, but there are others like myself who fought to have a second chance. I will always be grateful for the time I had with my brother Omar. He has taught me so much, and I have learned so much from him. I will continue to honor his memory as the kind and loving person he was in life.

We aren't our addictions or our past, we are capable of so much more, but we won't know unless we choose life. The choice is always ours to make. Happy Birthday, Omar. Thank you for being such a good brother. I love and miss you so much. I've also learned that no one is hopeless. We all have the ability to change if we want to, but we need the strength and courage to take the next step. Our story doesn't have to end here. Our story can go on. We have the power to change our ending even though we didn't have a happy beginning. It is time to be brave. Let me help.

---

Please feel free to email me at jackie@theaddictinme.com if you would like to setup a free consultation to help you get started on your healing journey. Suffering is not supposed to be a part of life. We are here to learn grow and evolve so we can live a happy, healthy and productive life. We can do so much more than you could imagine. Let me show you how.